TCWNW: Only A Teardrop Away From Existence
by RememberMeWhen
Summary: AU Ending to The Companion Who Never Was. The Doctor saves a girl called Cara from being killed by a car. But once he intervenes, danger follows her wherever she goes. The Doctor, in an attempt to save her again, offers Cara to be his companion. Can the Doctor save Cara from the constant danger, or is there something bigger to worry about? OC fic.


A/N: This is the alternative ending to my story 'The Companion Who Never Was.' If you haven't read it yet – welcome! You probably won't have a clue what is happening, but don't let that stop you. Due to popular demand I'm uploading this piece; it's the ending I wanted to upload but just couldn't because of my love for the characters. It is very similar to 'Chapter Eighty-Five: The Companion Who Never Was' and continues into 'Chapter Eighty-Six: The One He Forgot.' You'll find many similarities since it was the original edit, and I haven't really reedited it, I just reused some for the real (third draft) ending you all read and beautifully reviewed. Without any further explanations, here's the alternative ending! (It starts from the action point, halfway through the drama.)

SLIGHT DIFFERENCE: The way I designed the Sontaran machine is a little different to the one you've all read – but just go with it as I explain.

Chapter Eighty-Five/Six SECOND DRAFT: The Companion Who Never Was/The One He Forgot

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_Only a Teardrop Away From Existence_

Cara struggled, even though she knew her efforts were fruitless. The more she attempted to break the connection, the more her head felt like it was going to burst. The Doctor was only a few metres away, completely resigned to their fate. His brown eyes were hollow as he stared at the floor, almost as if his heart was breaking right in front of him.

"We can't give up!" Cara called to him. "You never give up!"

"There's a way out, Cara," the Doctor said faintly after a moment of quiet. "There's always been a way out."

She looked at him with wide eyes. Instead of feeling hope, she just felt regret. If the Doctor was reluctant about using his plan there must be a reason for it. "You know I'd be with you through anything. I'll support you through it all," Cara offered. Tears threatened to fall.

He moved his gaze from the floor and into her electric blue stare. He smiled bitterly as his personal world fell down around him. "Do you know just before I met you," the Doctor gulped, "I promised myself I wouldn't put anyone else in trouble. I'd travel alone. Like I should be. Alone."

Cara's lip wobbled as she looked at the Doctor. His face was pale and his eyes were hard, although he voice began to crack.

"Then I met you. You were different. You made me feel better. It wasn't long before I knew you were what I needed." He raised his eyebrows and whispered, "A friend."

A single tear fell down Cara's cheek. She stayed silent as she waited for him to finish.

"Now I'm going to lose you too," the Doctor finished, his head falling backwards as he cried out, "It's not fair!"

"Don't talk like that. I'm not going anywhere," Cara muttered, her vision swimming with water. She wanted nothing more than to hold his hand and tell him everything would be all right. Exactly what she couldn't promise right now.

The Doctor shook his head, "Do you know what happens when this machine activates in two minutes, Cara?"

She shook her head; half curious, half scared. Typical Cara.

"This machine is wired to our memories. It transfers them into the main computer. The strength of our combined recollections creates a paradox circuit. My mind is powerful, too powerful for the circuit. It needs a barrier to neutralise the strength. That's you," he glanced back up at her. His face was contorted with sorrow and rage.

"Science. Still hate it, remember?" Cara laughed without humour.

"Your mind can't take it. You're human. You're mind will burn and you'll die," he spat. For a moment Cara thought he was blaming her for being so weak. Her breath shattered as she exhaled, the blunt knife of reality digging into her side.

"I can't let that happen," the Doctor croaked.

Cara slumped back against her restraints. She was not expecting that. Her mind instantly raced towards her mother, towards Flynn, her friends back home – people who relied on her. They'd never forgive. She couldn't blame them. She didn't even have a chance to say goodbye.

It was a few more minutes before she could speak again. Her head was starting to ache.

"Tell my – tell my mother…" Cara couldn't get it out, the words refused to form. Her heart was beating so fast, so unsure. "And tell Flynn that I –"

"Don't you dare," snarled the Doctor, as angry as he has ever been. "Don't."

In the little time she had left, Cara turned to him in a heat of rage. "What? Are you expecting to somehow change this? Save us? You don't even have your sonic screwdriver. You can't save everyone. Sometimes you have to let one go."

"I'll think of something. I've let too many go," the Doctor said as he refused to give into reality. His mind was racing irrationally. All sorts of theories were pouring into his head.

Through her hurt, confusion, longing and heartache a burst of inspiration hit Cara like a physical punch to her stomach. Her psychic energy. Surely that was worth something? Maybe she could use her psychic energy against the machine – hadn't one of the Sontarans said the TARDIS was making her stronger? If she could just connect to the TARDIS she might be able to manipulate the technology linked into her mind. Perhaps that was what the Doctor meant when he said there was a way out – through her.

"How long do we have left?"

He took a moment before answering. "Around a minute," he finally said.

Suddenly Cara found her cheeks very wet and her eyes unable to stop the flood of tears. "And you'll regenerate? If we can't fix this, you'll regenerate."

She needed to make sure.

All he could do was nod in agreement.

"So we both die. In a certain sense." Cara took a deep breath and tried to stop her streaming tears. "Well, it would be better if at least one of us survived."

The way he looked at her, in such a turn of anger, she knew that the Doctor guessed her plan. "You can't – no, not for me," he argued.

"I can use my psychic energy with the TARDIS –"

"No!" the Doctor shouted forcefully. "If you use your psychic energy to block the signal from pouring into my mind then you have no chance of surviving whatsoever. Not even a little bit. And you are not sacrificing yourself for me, Cara Harvey. Do you hear?"

The usual sparkle of determination and defiance shone for the last time in Cara's eyes. With her usual mischief, she contradicted, "Don't tell me what to do. Especially in my final moments."

"Cara, even if you save me from regeneration my memories will still be lost!" the Doctor urged her to understand. It wasn't worth it. There would never be a time in which it would be worth it.

But the TARDIS, located only a few floors below, was calling up to her and pulling on her thoughts. Encouraging her. Almost pleading with her to save the Time Lord she was so used to taking care of. The decision wasn't a hard one to make – the last act of Cara Harvey's life would be loyalty. Upholding her promise of keeping the Doctor safe, right until the very end.

The machine started to hiss and spark. The Doctor yelled out in utter frustration but Cara could only urge him to be quiet and let her speak.

"Doctor, please – let me say something without you interrupting, okay?"

No, he couldn't, she couldn't, his mind was a whirl of science and brilliance, but why in this moment was he so thick –

"Tell Flynn I love him and I always have and apologise for me, say I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I never said it to him. I just wasn't that brave," Cara admitted. Her tears were soaking her cheeks and glistening as the machine sparked. "Falling in love is one of the scariest things you'll ever do, and I couldn't face up to it."

"No, don't you ever say you aren't brave, Cara Harvey, you're one of the bravest humans I've ever met," the Doctor rebuked.

Cara had to steady her nerves before speaking again. "And tell my mother – tell my mum that she was the best ever. And I mean that, she really was. But also say… also tell her I'm sorry. I can't even – just that I'm sorry for breaking her heart and that Flynn will look after her."

"Cara, please, no. Think about this, think about what you're leaving behind," the Doctor begged. They were running out of time.

She shook her head stubbornly. "Just remember me one day – please. Just do that for me."

Suddenly, and far too soon, then everything spun into action.

The machine completed the circuit and activated the Time energy. Flames and spark flew into the air and a loud and echoing whizzing emitted throughout the building, never mind the clinical room.

"Doctor!" Cara called out, feeling the raw heat rush into her head.

"Cara!" the Doctor shouted at the same time.

Focusing on the TARDIS, she could feel the strength of the living machine call up to her and release her psychic energy to fight against the machine.

BANG!

All of the energy escaped into Cara's mind as the machine exploded. The bonds holding them together immediately released the pair into the chaos. They both fell to the floor simultaneously as white smoke hit the ceiling.

* * *

The Doctor's eyelids started to flicker like the slowly burning flames inside the white room. He had a monstrous pain in his forehead and it felt like his mind was running slower than it usually would; for example, he couldn't remember what had happened or why he was unconscious. The more he tried to think, the more his head was blocking him from looking, almost like a one-way mirror. A part of him started to worry.

He lurched awake. The steamy and swirling white smoke clouded his vision for a moment and made him splutter out a cough. Before he moved he squinted to think – what had happened? Where was this place? How did he get here?

His hands clutched his hair as he couldn't access the memories. They were gone.

Someone – or something – had wiped his mind.

After the initial shock and confusion the Doctor desperately tried to remember the last memory he had: five months ago. Landing on Earth. England. Around the area of Cambridgeshire. However, from the moment he remembered stepping out onto the cold January morning, the mental block returned and halted his remembrance. There was no way over it, through it, under it or around it. The block was there to stay.

Only one person could place such a strong shield in his mind: his most dangerous enemy. Himself.

Either it was dangerous for the Doctor to remember the last five months, or his memories had been wiped intentionally to prevent someone from using them, but alternatively he could be saving himself from the pain of remembering. He hated himself more than ever.

Using an operating table as a leaning post, the Doctor heaved himself up. The room was a state. A broken and hissing machine covered one of the walls. He tried to ignore the faint sense of Time Energy carrying on the smoke. What exactly had happened here, or attempted to happen here?

And then he noticed it – a second operating table, just as destroyed as the one he was leaning against. Was there someone else here?

As fast as his sore body could manage, the Doctor leaped over the broken remains of the burnt out machine scattered over the room. That was he seen her. A girl he couldn't even recognise. For a moment he thought the worst, but then –

The Doctor fell to his knees. His shaking hands fumbled to reach the young girl lying crumpled on the floor. Her face was pale and her lips were wobbling, while her arm was wrapped protectively around her bleeding side. Her dark brown hair was spilled onto the stark white floor, appearing as if someone had dropped a bowl of melted dark chocolate. But it was her eyes that captivated the Doctor – her eyes were so blue. TARDIS blue. They flicked over his face, staring at him as if she had known him for years.

Perhaps the most worrying thing of all was that he didn't recognise her at all.

He had so many questions. So many concerns.

Tears were trickling as fast as rain down her pale cheeks. Her eyelids were fluttering as they battled to stay open as they tried to keep her from the inevitable unconsciousness just around the corner. Cara's mind was whirling as she looked through the Doctor – the alien she knew so well – and the swelling pain in her chest told her this was all happening and this was all true. His face held no recognition of her whatsoever. It did nothing but break her heart to see him so familiar but so distant. This was the man she had met for the first time on that snowy January morning. He wasn't the same person who would run as he held her hand over distant planets in solar systems thousands upon thousands of miles through the stars.

She'd made him better, and now he was broken again.

It was like receiving without giving. She had taken his knowledge and his wonder, and she hadn't helped him in return. All of it was lost.

Cara felt as if her very soul was crying out for him as her heart shattered into fragments smaller than dust. This was too much; she was feeling too much.

"Stay awake! That's it – keep your eyes open! Stay with me!" he called, gently shaking her to keep her conscious. Had she closed her eyes? She couldn't remember.

"I'll always stay with you. As long as you need me," Cara muttered tiredly. The words fell out of her mouth in an incoherent order since her mind was tired and slow.

"Who are you? How did we get here? Where have my memories gone?" he blurted out, unable to control himself.

With the last remaining drop of energy she had left, Cara lifted her index finger and caressed his stubbly cheek. Her eyes were half closed as she said, "I love you, Doctor. Apart from Flynn, you were the best friend I ever had."

His face crumpled into a painstakingly broken beyond repair expression. Delicate and individual tears slipped from his eyes and landed on Cara's already tear-streaked face. His hands grasped her arms, as if he never wanted to let her go. His lips wobbled but no words came out. He couldn't speak. Without trying to hurt her, he attempted to give her something of a hug but ended up making a noise between a frustrated growl and a gut-wrenching sob.

Cara didn't even know how she knew what to do – perhaps the TARDIS was still helping her – but she reached up and placed two fingers to the Doctor's forehead. With every ounce of energy she had left, Cara linked onto her remaining psychic power and poured a specific memory into the Doctor's head – the one containing her goodbyes to everyone she loved. The memory replayed in front of both of their eyes, tinted with a hint of gold.

Once the memory ended, the Doctor and Cara were holding onto each other, tears mingling with the heartbreak. She was too pale now. The Doctor was more than worried. He couldn't find his sonic screwdriver and he had no idea where they were, so how could he help her? But he had to help her.

"I don't think I can hold on," she whispered, her blue eyes blurred with water.

"Stay with me!" the Doctor gave her a gentle shake. "What's your name? Can you tell me your name?"

She gave a shattering breath and stroked his cheek to wipe away his tears. "Cara. Cara Harvey. We travelled together in your magical blue cupboard. We ran through the stars, signing our names in the dust. I made you better. You were lonely, and I made you better."

"Now I'll make you better. You just have to hold on," urged the Doctor. He went to lift her, planning to find the TARDIS, but he could already see her eyes closing.

The colour of blue was too enigmatic, too beautiful to simply let go. He couldn't let her. The girl with the TARDIS blue eyes.

"Doctor," Cara whispered, "Remember one day. Please. Remember."

Almost resigned, but never without hope, the Doctor agreed, "I will. I promise. Just – just don't leave me."

"I have another adventure coming." She made to laugh but couldn't find the strength. "Promise me you'll tell my family. The people I mentioned in the memory."

The Doctor nodded, his tears dripping onto her already wet cheeks. He held her in his arms, as if she was the most precious thing he had left in the whole universe. Perhaps she was.

The girl's eyes finally closed. Panicky, the Doctor shook her as lightly as he could manage. He couldn't be alone – she couldn't leave him – not now, not when he had no idea what was happening.

Everything suddenly seemed quite clear when his eyes rested on a glint of silver hanging around the girl's neck. He pulled on the chain disbelievingly.

The TARDIS key fell into his palm. His fingers enclosed around the warm metal and he blinked his eyes from tears.

"Cara?"

There was no response.

"Cara?" he begged.

With final push, the mysterious Cara muttered, "Remember."

As her whole body fell still, her last ever teardrop slowly ran down her delicate cheek, bridging the gap between her departure and her final clutch onto existence.

The Doctor watched pitifully. Once his true reality sank in, he screamed at the top of his lungs at the injustice of it all.

An eerie silence fell over the room. Nothing stirred. No one came to the rescue. And the last remaining remnant of hope turned into a far-fetched dream of a heartbroken Time Lord.

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